Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Words Women Use

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".
Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!
Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

BEHIND EVERY
SUCCESSFUL WOMAN
IS HERSELF

AWOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG
SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER
IN HOT WATER

IHAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN
ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW
TO COMBINE MARRIAGE
AND A CAREER

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST
BETTER RICH

WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE
AND I KNOW HOW
TO USE IT

OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...
I DID IT RIGHT
THE FIRST TIME

And last but not least:

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

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